Choose your hard.
It’s a phrase I’ve been thinking about a lot lately because the longer I coach dads, the more I’ve realized that life rarely gives us a choice between easy and hard. More often than not, we’re choosing between one hard thing and another.
We want the easy workout plan, the easy diet, the easy way to make more money, the easy way to get out of debt, and the easy way to improve our health. We spend so much time looking for the path with the least resistance that we sometimes forget that most worthwhile things in life are difficult by nature, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
The other day I was thinking about how often life presents us with what feels like two difficult choices. Getting up early to work out before the kids wake up is hard. Nobody wakes up excited when the alarm goes off at 5:30 in the morning and immediately thinks, “I can’t wait to go exercise.” Most mornings there are plenty of reasons to stay in bed a little longer.
At the same time, being out of shape is hard too.
Carrying extra weight is hard. Feeling exhausted at the end of the day is hard. Looking in the mirror and not liking what you see is hard. Walking up a flight of stairs and feeling more winded than you think you should is hard. Watching your energy slowly decline over the years is hard.
Neither option is easy.
At some point, every dad has to choose your hard, because avoiding hard altogether usually isn’t one of the options available to us.
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned, both through my own struggles and through coaching dads for the last decade, is that life rarely gives us the option to avoid hard altogether. More often than not, we’re simply choosing which version of hard we want to deal with.
The same thing applies to nutrition.
Planning meals takes effort. Tracking your food takes effort. Being mindful when everybody around you is grabbing whatever is convenient takes effort. There are certainly days when ordering takeout, stopping by the drive thru, or grabbing whatever sounds good in the moment feels like the easier option.
But feeling frustrated because your weight hasn’t changed in years is hard too. Knowing your health isn’t where you want it to be is hard too. Having your doctor tell you that something needs to change is hard too.
What I’ve found interesting is that the hard things we avoid today rarely disappear. In fact, they usually become more difficult the longer we wait.
It’s kind of like pulling weeds in your yard. Pulling one small weed isn’t that difficult. You bend over, pull it out, and move on with your day. Ignore that same weed for months, however, and now you’ve got roots spreading, more weeds showing up, and a much bigger problem than you started with.
Health works the same way.
That’s why I think the idea of “Choose Your Hard” applies so well to health and fitness, because the challenges we avoid today almost always show up again later in a bigger form.
A lot of dads tell themselves they’ll focus on their health after this busy season at work, after the kids get older, after the next vacation, after the holidays, or after things calm down a little bit. The problem is that life has a funny way of replacing one busy season with another. As soon as one challenge passes, another one shows up to take its place.
At some point, you have to stop waiting for the perfect conditions and accept that progress usually happens in the middle of a busy life, not after everything settles down.
The good news is that just as neglect compounds, positive actions compound too.
One workout won’t change your life. One healthy meal won’t transform your body. One walk after dinner won’t suddenly give you endless energy. But neither did your current situation happen overnight.
The dads who are most successful aren’t usually the ones who make dramatic changes. They’re the ones who consistently make small decisions that move them in the right direction, even when those decisions aren’t always convenient. They go for the walk. They get the workout in. They pay attention to their nutrition. They keep showing up, even when the results aren’t immediately visible.
Then one day they look back and realize they’re stronger than they were six months ago. They have more energy than they did a year ago. Their clothes fit differently. Their confidence has improved. They can do things with their family that would’ve left them exhausted before.
None of that happened because they found an easy path.
It happened because they chose the right hard.
So if there’s one thing I’d encourage you to think about this week, it’s this: stop asking yourself what’s easiest and start asking yourself which hard is going to move you closer to the life you want.
Because one way or another, life is going to be difficult.
You don’t get to choose whether hard exists.
You only get to choose which hard you’re willing to live with.
Recommended Reading: Take Ownership of Your Health: Stop Treating Your Body Like a Rental